Everyone wants to “know” their future, yet what if the greatest gift we all share, is already here in the now.

For someone who has, in the past year, consistently had, just under a hundred dollars to her name, I can attest to how fascinatingly miraculous that abundance of this now moment is for me.

I am drinking sparkling lilikoi soda. Fresh squeezed passionfruit by yours truly, out of a gold pineapple cup I found at the local thrift store not too long ago. My plate is full, and beautiful I might add. With an indigo rim adorned with yellow flowers. It’s a very large plate and on it is a whole wheat roll that I baked from scratch. A tricolored salad with lettuce and cucumbers making up the light green, carrots for orange and a deep purple cabbage that has already fueled my belly twice before.

Just next to the salad is a fried plantain, one of my favorite fruits, which I have topped with a spicy parsley dip. The spice comes from Hawaiian chillies which I happen to forage in my neighborhood, and the parsley as well as the plantain were donated to “feed my sheep” by a local farmer, who also gifted the food bank swiss chard and collard greens which I’ve already eaten while writing this journal entry.

To say I’m full and blessed is an understatement. Yet the miracles which surround me don’t stop at my afternoon lunch. There truly isn’t enough gratitude in my heart to describe exactly where I am eating this lunch.

I live in Hana, Maui. A destination many have on their bucket list of places to visit. The road to my home is long and winding on the edge of thousand foot cliffs that overlook the pacific ocean on one side and the lush tropical jungle on the other. And just as you arrive to Hana town itself, you’ll find the home I have been able to call my own for the past 9 and a half months.

Here I sit, on my porch which is raised about twelve feet to give me a better view of the pacific ocean that is just across the street. And in the event that it’s raining, like earlier this morning, I can still enjoy and absorb the healing powers of the ocean from the full length windows that line the whole front of my home.

Beneath my feet is a gorgeous black dog. And inside the home is an angel of a white female dog, I named Selah, who herself is full of pups and due to give birth any day now. Both of them arriving into my life when I had less than $100 to my name and no idea how I was going to feed them, let alone myself. All I knew is that we were all in need of companionship.

I think that’s the thing we all have in common. Our need. An animals need. We all need companionship. And if I can think of one thing missing in this now moment, one place where my brain loves to take me when it wants to ruin this now moment, by leaping me into the what if’s of the future, it is definitely about who, who can I share this glorious moment with. And why, why isn’t there another human by my side right now. Especially my human with whom I can create our own litter of pups, of course human ones, that I’ll get to call my children.

Yet I’m becoming wiser now. Understanding that by focusing on what’s missing in this picture perfect moment, I’m simply getting closer to pushing it away. So right now, I choose to focus, as difficult as it may be at times, on all the people and things and animals I do have here with me right now.

And when I acknowledge what is right in front of me right now, I'm able to acknowledge that connection is already here, in this now moment. For even though I’m writing these words, into my journal, not surrounded physically by another person, you, my audience is already here.

As I meditate on the idea of someone, one day, reading these words, God willing, at a time when you yourself may be wondering what’s in store for your future, it’s like I feel your presence right here with me. And all of a sudden, it really feels like this porch isn’t big enough to hold all of us. There are people in my yard now, all lining up to hear this message. And in whatever moment my words reach you, in where ever you may be reading them, I want you to tap into all the others who are also joining us in this space.

For when we let go of when and who, and especially when we let go of the how, simply tapping into what is right now and allowing ourselves to dwell there, I can assure you, like the non-verbal kids that meet up on “the hill” as described in the telepathy tapes podcast, we are creating our own hill right now. A hill that is beyond space and time. A hill that is always right in front of us. A hill where souls meet. Where my consciousness can say hello to yours. Where my heart can beat in sync with yours. A hill that we all can access at any now moment when our mind wants to know… but how?

How will I meet him? I don’t know yet. When will I meet him? I’m not sure yet. What will he look like? I honestly really don’t care brain, because in my heart I’m already attracted to him and it’s this attraction, that I have access to at every single moment I find myself. Which lets me be still, calm and at ease, knowing that when the now moment is perfect for his arrival, he will land right into my physical reality, just like all the other miracles I have before me. All of which, have arrived, in their own unique and magnificent ways into my life.

And that is the story I’m going to focus on today. And if you choose to come back, to this hill, and take refuge in this now moment with me, I’ll do my best to share with you, exactly how, thus far, I’ve attracted the abundance and glory and beauty that is in front of me right now, with less than $100 to my name.

By the way, rent is due tomorrow. My landlord has been asking for the last three days if I’d be able to pay her by the 31st, which is today. She was just here, picking up a check from my neighbors and I’m still not sure what the miracle will be that will help me pay her in full for next month. I just know that rent indeed does get paid and I guess, if you’d like to know how it gets paid, you’ll have to keep on joining me, one now moment at a time.

But instead of concentrating on what I don’t have, I’m going to bake bread for I’m expecting a visit from angels soon. And there is no way I can welcome such incredible guests into my home, without greeting them with the abundance of food, that I do have in this now moment, to enjoy and gift. And cooking, especially food I can share with others, truly does remind me of how blessed I already am and gives me an opportunity to do something I authentically really love doing. Why worry about rent when there is a pile of dishes, I mean miracles, calling my name in the kitchen?